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Grief and loss

Excerpt from the Spring 2005 Newsletter

We have all experienced grief at some point in our lives: the death of a loved one, the end of a marriage or relationship, the loss of a job or our good health. When we suffer loss, our lives change. To survive and to thrive, we must adapt to this change.

When we experience loss, it is important to acknowledge it. Pretending that nothing has changed or that we are not affected by whatever has happened is counterproductive. We must allow ourselves to feel the pain of loss, but it is equally important not to get stuck in our sorrow. Moving past the pain is easier said than done. Many people plunge into the depths of despair, and find it difficult to recover, others find themselves paralysed by doubt and fear, still others become bitter and resentful of their lot in life. To live in a positive, meaningful manner, we must reconstruct our lives on new foundations, foundations that do not deny our loss but rather build on the memory of our loved one or the lessons we have learned.

Fortunately there are many essences that can assist us to move through our grief and make the adjustments necessary to continue on our path. Of course, the first essences that come to mind are those that calm during moments of crisis, such as Assistance (DEVA), Balancer (Pacific), Crisis Remedy (South African), Emergency Essence (Australian Bush), Emergency Care (Green Hope Farm) or Pear (Spirit-in-Nature). However, there are also many others to choose from.

Red Suva Frangipani (Australian Bush) is one of the most useful essences for the initial grief and sadness experienced at the loss a loved one or when an important relationship has ended. It helps us move through emotional upheaval and turmoil by instilling a sense of calm and inner peace, and the strength to cope. Coral Pink Rose (Green Hope Farm) is another essence that helps relieve the shock and stress we feel when someone close to us dies. It uplifts, calms, and renews those who are worn down by sorrows, catastrophes or a string of difficult learning lessons. Maltese Cross (Green Hope Farm) is an essence that is helpful during and after extremely wrenching experiences such as betrayal, sudden loss of a partner or a career, abandonment, a broken heart, or any situation in which there is a violent tearing apart of the fabric of one's life. Maltese Cross pulls us back into our centre, and helps us cross the bridge from fear to faith in our ability to survive.

Purple Crocus (Pacific) enhances our ability to embrace all aspects of pain and grief and to release the heaviness and tension related to loss. It allows us to experience grief and emptiness without resistance. As such it is effective for those who, after a loss, turn their own blocked energy against themselves, often leading to serious health problems. It assists the Lung meridian, the channel related to grief in Chinese medicine, to provide life-giving energy to the whole physical body.

Another essence related to the Lung meridian is Sturt Desert Pea (Australian Bush) which resolves deep pain and sorrow held in the body. It diffuses sad memories, even if they have been locked inside for many years, while motivating and re-energising us to let go and move on with our lives.

When we are overcome by grief and sadness Borage (Green Hope Farm or South African) give us the courage to find happiness and joy within ourselves. Painkiller Plant (Green Hope Farm) helps us to transmute painful circumstances into fully integrated wisdom so that we can learn from the experience of loss. When we feel a lack or loss of love in our lives from death, divorce, or separation Grape (Spirit-in-Nature) helps us to look within ourselves and to give others the love we feel has been lost.

Starfish (Pacific) helps us to move through the experience of loss without paralysing our inner resources. This essence helps us to appreciate the unique soul path of each individual and to remember that "to everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven". It acts on the crown chakra and allows us to experience a deep spiritual connection with those we love, even when they are no longer in physical form.

Emotional detachment is one of the most difficult aspects of grief. Aubépine (DEVA) softens the pain of separation and grief and helps us to find inner peace. For people who are grieving over the loss of a loved one, the break-up of a relationship or a painful separation, Coeur de Marie (DEVA) facilitates the release of deeply felt emotions and brings harmony and detachment.

Bottlebrush (Australian Bush) helps people move through major life changes and the sense of being overwhelmed that often goes with these changes. It “brushes” out the past and allows the person to move on. Combined with Boronia (Australian Bush) it helps us to deal with the end of a relationship when we are broken hearted and cannot stop thinking of our lost love. Grief and Loss (Green Hope Farm) is part of the Animal Wellness Collection. It is a very useful essence that helps both animals and humans adjust to all aspects of grief and loss. Myosotis (DEVA) helps us overcome feelings of solitude or abandonment following the loss of a loved one, while Dagger Hakea (Australian Bush) frees us from feelings of anger towards the loved one who has left us behind.

Separation Essence (South African) or Separation (Green Hope Farm) brings courage, the ability to cope, to deal with pain and grief, and to focus on the present with optimism. Pink Flannel Flower (Australian Bush) encourages us to open our hearts and be grateful for all the things that we do have, rather than concentrating on what we no longer have, while The Arbor Garden (Green Hope Farm) holds a vibration of harmony, grace and sanctuary for any situation where we have forgotten our Oneness.

Cherokee Trail of Tears (Green Hope Farm) is one of the new combination essences from Green Hope Farm. The term “Cherokee Trail of Tears” refers to the forced eviction of the Cherokee Indians in the 1830’s. During this 1600 kilometre march from their homes to the “Indian Territory” in Oklahoma at least a quarter of the Cherokees died. Their journey became known as the “Cherokee Trail of Tears”. Since the mind is often unwilling to give up its central role in our experience of ourselves, our lives will often take us on a journey which includes suffering. When we experience loss, the mind loses its grip and the heart has an opportunity to come to the fore. This journey to the heart leads us to the truth that we are all One. This essence encourages and comforts us, and helps us accept the gifts of these difficult journeys.

Do not let pain and suffering stop you from moving forward. Life is a continual ebb and flow. Even as we come to terms with loss, new experiences are waiting to flow into our lives. It is a cycle of change and renewal. When we submerge ourselves in grief, that flow of energy is blocked. Let the essences help you re-establish the natural rhythm of your existence.