Excerpt from the Spring 2003 Newsletter
I realise more and more every day how important it is to forgive.
To quote author Caroline Myss (Anatomy of the Spirit): "As appealing as forgiveness is in theory, it is an extremely unattractive personal action for most people, mainly because the true nature of forgiveness remains misunderstood. Forgiveness is not the same as telling the person who harmed you, “It’s okay”, which is more or less the way most people view it. Rather, forgiveness is a complex act of consciousness, one that liberates the psyche and soul from the need for personal vengeance and the perception of oneself as a victim."
To forgive is to accept all the events in our lives, to recognise what we have learned from them and to understand that these events have no power over us.
Many people think that they have forgiven by banishing a painful experience from their minds. Or, as in the above example, by saying “It’s okay” others think that they have forgiven and moved on. But the toxic memory remains, poisoning their lives in unseen ways. Sooner or later the emotional wound is re-opened and they may be surprised by the intensity of the feelings that rise up to overwhelm them.
Some people continually relive in their minds the hurtful events of their lives, over and over again. They swear that forgiveness is impossible, that the person or situation that hurt them does not deserve forgiveness or that the pain is so great that they cannot possibly forgive. This illustrates a basic misunderstanding about the nature and function of forgiveness.
Harbouring feelings of betrayal, rejection, resentment and bitterness colour the way we view the world. They keep us in a state of fear when what we all really seek in life is to live in a state of love. Medical science is beginning to realise the link that exists between our emotions, our immune systems and our overall state of health. To forgive is to heal. And by healing ourselves, we bring more light and love into the world, which sorely needs it.
Here are some of the many essences that can be of assistance in helping us to forgive.
Amethyst (Crystal Energy Essences), Chakra 4 (Terre & Cosmos), Houx (DEVA), Mountain Devil (Australian Bush), Painted Lady (South African) and Raspberry (Spirit-in-Nature) are all essences that help dissolve feelings of anger, jealousy, bitterness, envy, rage, suspicion, revenge and hatred, allowing forgiveness, joy and unconditional love to flow into our hearts.
Dagger Hakea (Australian Bush) is specifically for dealing with feelings of resentment and bitterness towards those with whom we have been very close such as family members and old lovers. If there are long-standing feuds or deep enmity in our relations with others, try Mary Queen of Scots Rose (Green Hope Farm) - it softens the heart and illuminates the truth in such a way that inner and outer conflict drops away to be replaced with peace and harmony.
Fuchsia (DEVA) acts as a catalyst that allows repressed emotions to rise to the surface to be understood and resolved. These are often emotions of anger and sorrow that go back to childhood. By dealing with these repressed emotions we can allow forgiveness and love to fill our hearts. Those of us who have unresolved issues from childhood (and who doesn’t?) may benefit from some of the inner child essences such as Inner Child (Green Hope Farm), Inner Child Essence (South African), Rose Quartz (Crystal Energy Essences).
Salal (Pacific) is one of my favourite essences for forgiveness and self-forgiveness. It is rooted in non- judgement and a recognition that justice is not our job. Salal helps us to sort out and to assimilate life experience and frees us to view reality through the window of the Heart. It dissolves self-righteousness and in so doing, we realise our power to forgive ourselves and others.
Feelings of guilt also keep us from forgiving ourselves. Hyssop (Green Hope Farm), and Hysope (DEVA) help us to let go of our guilt and replace it with a more constructive understanding of all events in our lives as learning lessons, not evidence we are bad or morally flawed. And finally, Heliotrope (Green Hope Farm) will help us surrender our deeply held grudges against ourselves and rest at last in a bed of self-forgiveness.